


Inexorable

by lcdsra



Series: LCDSRA's A-Z Soulmate Prompts [9]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26659060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcdsra/pseuds/lcdsra
Summary: /ˌinˈeksərəb(ə)l/adjective1. impossible to stop or prevent.Or: Angie can’t help pining, but that doesn’t mean she’ll do anything about it.
Relationships: Angie/Calypso, Calypso/Sylvia
Series: LCDSRA's A-Z Soulmate Prompts [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935553





	Inexorable

**Author's Note:**

> AU: You’re born with a picture that represents your soulmate, which can change and move across your skin.
> 
> Character(s): Angie, Sylvia  
> Relationship(s): Onesided Angie/Calypso, onesided Calypso/Sylvia  
> Warning(s): None

The thing that Angie liked about pining was that she felt the flutters of love, but she never got too attached to the objects of her affections. No one got hurt when she kept her emotions and feelings to herself, and she had, for the most part, complete control of whatever happened in her mind. It was a safe way to fall in love.

Plus, being in the military, it wasn’t exactly the best time for her to try to make any kind of serious romantic attraction. At least, not to the people she tended to fall for.

The thing that Angie didn’t like about pining was that it didn’t stop her objects of affection from loving someone else.

Because it was one thing to know that a crush didn’t love her, but it was an entire other beast to know that they loved someone else.

Or in this case, her friend Calypso often confided in her that she had a crush on someone they both knew.

And probably what was worse than knowing that Calypso loved someone else was having to talk to that someone that she loved.

Sylvia was their therapist and Calypso had fallen head over heels, not literally of course, as she was in a wheelchair, for her. She admitted it wouldn’t go anywhere, but that didn’t stop her eyes from going wide and wistful whenever they were in the same room.

“Angie?” Her therapist looked at her curiously and Angie forced herself to banish her thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry, what was your question?” She remembered that she wasn’t home, and instead on a wide, comfy couch, mindlessly tracing a pillow’s stitching. She looked up from it.

Sylvia sat across from her in a chair, relaxed and with a pen and paper in hand. “You mentioned that you were struggling romantically.”

Ah, so that was why she mentally drifted off. “Yeah, so I don’t really want to meet my soulmate. Is that unusual?”

“No,” Sylvia shook her head. “Soulmates are rarely perfect, and the people involved aren’t perfect. A lot of people are disappointed in soulmates, one way or another.”

“Are you?” Angie asked, tilting her head. Logically, she knew Sylvia was most likely going to redirect the question to her, because it was Angie’s money.

The blonde woman smiled a little. “I don’t intend to search for my soulmate. Were you disappointed with what you found?”

“Yes.” She hated what her soulmark represented. The image of hunting might have appealed some people, but her mark always hunted creatures that couldn’t fight back. The image shifted sometimes, from baby bears, little birds, creatures asleep and once, literal fish in a barrel. A weapon was always pointed at them, edging closer and closer until she couldn’t bare to watch it move again. “Very.”

“You don’t have to love them. You’re not obligated to.”

“I know. And,” Angie grimaced, “I think I do like someone, but it can’t really happen.”

“Why not?”

“She loves someone else.”

Sylvia nodded slowly, “So, she’s with someone?”

“No,” if only, then maybe she could logic herself out of feeling so much for her friend. “Just a crush. But it’s not a casual thing. Ca-she loves them, but they don’t know.”

“Has this affected you? Mentally, emotionally?”

Well, the answer was yes. She looked away from Sylvia to stare out the window that overlooked a bustling street. It must be around rush hour.

Angie worried about Calypso on a daily basis, even though the other woman was very competent and completely able to take care of herself. But more often, she’d feel a deep pain in her chest, and sometimes that, along with other stressors, pushed into a panic or anxiety attack.

“Yeah,” She replied, reluctantly. “I mean, I worry about her a lot. And sometimes I think I take on her own stress, and it doesn’t really help with my own mental health.”

“Loving her shouldn’t hurt you, not like that.” Sylvia said.

And Angie knew that. She had loved people in the past, certainly, but it had never been so difficult. “I know. But she doesn’t love me and I can’t just force her to.”

“Then you can talk with her. Or separate yourself. It hurts you, you know.”

“But I don’t really want to leave her. She’s made me happier than anyone in the past few years have,” Angie glanced at her therapist nervously, “no offensive.”

Sylvia smiled a little. “None taken. Continue?”

“Oh, yeah, she’s an amazing friend, and an interesting person. I don’t want to hurt her, so I think I’d be willing to keep my feelings onesided.”

Sylvia hummed thoughtfully. “But what if it’s not onesided? This person seems like a good friend, and that can certainly lead to more.”

Now Angie laughed a little. “Sure, I don’t think she could love me.”

“Why not?”

“I’m too broken for her. She’s attracted to people who are whole, confident. I’m just as broken as her.”

Sylvia ‘ah-ed’ quietly. Angie let out a sigh, and returned to staring at the painting that hung beside a plant. She was never sure if the plant was real or not, and she had never tried to find out. It was excellent to analyze in moments like these.

“I sincerely think you should try to talk to her. Whoever it is, if she’s your friend, she won’t just abandon you.” Sylvia finally said, and Angie shrugged in return.

The rest of their talk was fine, and though it wasn’t exactly comfortable, it was more familiar than talking about romance.

She wondered if Sylvia picked up on Calypso’s feelings towards her. Calypso was an extremely difficult person to read, like she made up for her inability to be physically invisible by being emotionally unavailable. Then again, Calypso was somewhat unlearning those defense mechanisms in her therapy sessions, though Angie was simply speculating there.

But regardless of their relationship, it was entirely unfair to Calypso for her to push her feelings on her. Angie just needed to get over it, just her feelings.

Cause that’s what she did best, right? Sit on the sidelines and wish for more. As a student, she was the wallflower-

“Hey,” Sylvia’s voice stopped her from walking away.

Angie just realized then that she spaced out and would’ve probably been lost in thought for the entirely of her trip back home. “Yeah?”

“Remember what we talked about.’ Sylvia said. “You deserve good things.”

Angie let out a wary smile. “Thanks.” She didn’t believe it.

**Author's Note:**

> The path that I'm walking  
> I must go alone  
> I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown  
> Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?  
> And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
> 
> \- Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie


End file.
